Choosing First Words

First words of the morning.  First words of a conversation.  First words of an informal greeting. First words of a presentation. First words of the evening greeting to self as sleep happens. This is what we do in the course of every day.

"How are you!" is the usual informal greeting. It all sounds so innocent and throw away. Something I have learned is that a person being greeted may well be having a really bad day and now how to respond to this intrusive greeting?  One may wish to say " None of your business!" or "Let me tell you about this terrible thing happening in our family!".  The person doing the greeting expects to hear " Just fine, how are you?"  And thus a standoff is created with both parties trying to get this all over as soon as possible.

This may well be the reason "Hello!" was created. Little confrontation there. It says "I see you and you see me."  Conversation not demanded. An opening to conversation may be appropriate or both parties may go on their way.

The creator of the first words of a presentation needs to remember that the first ten seconds or so are given to orientation by the listener. "Who is this, what am I about to hear, and is this worth my attention."  Then attention to meaning may or may not happen.

First words of the day may be the hardest of all. They often set the tone of the day. There is not much time to think.  If one can have presence of mind at such a time, the brain often brings up something that really does need attention this day. At least remember the mental suggestion and make a note of it. So I intend and sometimes do this usually to good effect.

Choosing Your Last Words

Consider that your or my last words may happen in the midst of a conversation when a heart attack or stroke takes us away. How troubling to have an obituary when it is noted that his last words were a harsh complaint about another person or despair in the face of political paralysis in the nation or a curse word.  It gives one something to think about. Perhaps that is why public obituaries rarely if ever include last words. 

I have been thinking about this during today.  Many of us wander on about the weather and the holes in the streets and the gnats when in public conversation.  Then conversations can veer off into gossip or some serious personal issues or opinions about the world around.

As a male I can assure you that some of us do use expletives on occasion. When in a terminal state most social niceties are set aside. I will let you fill in the blank space after, "Oh............."

Dealing with this possibility means preparation. Many of us wish to have some hand in how we will be remembered at our final departure.

1. The first step is to remind self that a sudden interruption of conscious life could happen to this person.

2. Think of words that you would like to say. Be brief.

3. Write the words down on paper and/or in the computer, smart phone, ipad or other device that you find helpful.

4. Practice using the words by repeating them to yourself and then using them in conversation. You may be surprised at your own inward reaction.  If someone asks what you are up to, tell them right up front.

5.  My words are based on many years experience as a clergy person frequently dealing with death, its circumstances and aftermath.

6. Give the last words idea a try. It can't hurt.