Consider that your or my last words may happen in the midst of a conversation when a heart attack or stroke takes us away. How troubling to have an obituary when it is noted that his last words were a harsh complaint about another person or despair in the face of political paralysis in the nation or a curse word. It gives one something to think about. Perhaps that is why public obituaries rarely if ever include last words.
I have been thinking about this during today. Many of us wander on about the weather and the holes in the streets and the gnats when in public conversation. Then conversations can veer off into gossip or some serious personal issues or opinions about the world around.
As a male I can assure you that some of us do use expletives on occasion. When in a terminal state most social niceties are set aside. I will let you fill in the blank space after, "Oh............."
Dealing with this possibility means preparation. Many of us wish to have some hand in how we will be remembered at our final departure.
1. The first step is to remind self that a sudden interruption of conscious life could happen to this person.
2. Think of words that you would like to say. Be brief.
3. Write the words down on paper and/or in the computer, smart phone, ipad or other device that you find helpful.
4. Practice using the words by repeating them to yourself and then using them in conversation. You may be surprised at your own inward reaction. If someone asks what you are up to, tell them right up front.
5. My words are based on many years experience as a clergy person frequently dealing with death, its circumstances and aftermath.
6. Give the last words idea a try. It can't hurt.
1 comment:
The truth is that when facing the imminent departure of a someone near, dear and close to you, the words flee and you are overcome with the reality that these are the last moments and everything you thought you had to say is of no import whatsoever. You cling to the still warm touch, the last breaths, you concentrate on hearing the beats of a heart soon to be stilled.
Man proposes and G-d disposes. She laughs at us when we plan these things because She knows in that most sacred of moments, that bookend to birth, that there are no words capable of conveying that magnitude of forever.
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