Today I fell headlong into victim thinking.

On the way home from meeting with some other people I was walking in a rain storm with wind. Securely dressed I was keeping dry and warm. Then at an open field area the wind became forceful - at least 30 mph. It caught me off guard and threatened to push me over. A walking stick helped so that I could stop and brace my legs and the stick and not fall over. As I proceeded across the open area the wind came in gusts. Each time I had to brace myself and press on in order to get home. I got home okay but in a mood of realism over the power of nature. 

I could have been the victim of a strong wind. That led to thoughts about the intrusion of memory loss into our family. One easily reaches the conclusion that we are victims of the whims of nature be it storms that destroy or memory loss that destroys persons and families. Perhaps we are helpless. Dealing with such thoughts is a challenge for surviving care givers. 

As I was being consumed by self pity a phone call came from a person for whom I was a counselor thirty years ago.
Without thinking I began to talk as a victim. At first my remarks caught him off guard but then it dawned on him that it was time for him to counsel me in the here and now.  He had called to tell me about strengths that he has developed and that his work has been built on those early years of insecurity. Out of that strength he could hear what is happening to me and almost literally lift me up. What a gift given by experience.

I hope to be able to spot victim thinking more quickly in me and learn how to interrupt that train of thought. All who survive Care Giving and live on have much to learn because they have personally witnessed the power of nature which includes destruction of people through many illnesses and accidents. That experience can help know how to respond to another person who has fallen into victim thinking.

Delton